My Hat and the Things That Go In It

But Why Not?

I don’t understand parents who use a “I was raised this way and I turned out fine!” mentality as a justification to slack and feed their kids garbage food. Sugar cereal is not a balanced meal. Fast food everyday isn’t good for anyone.

I understand it is difficult when you’ve just got done working a long day and you ache and people were shitty to you all day and life is stressful and it all piles up and is trying to crush you. I really do understand that.
But being crushed by life is no excuse to let down this person who didn’t ask to be brought into this world. That was all you. Well, ok, that was half you.

We are certainly not perfect at my house, but we usually eat out about once a week. This not only makes us eat better at home, but is also a money saver.
Making food together at home can be a lot of fun and you don’t have to spend a lot to get good tasting, healthy food!

One of our favorite ways to make tasty things healthy is to hide the veggies. We purée (you could even use a blender) squash, beans, cauliflower, and other vegetables and freeze them in ice cube trays silicone muffin pans.
When we make scrambles eggs in the morning we add a few squash cubes and hey! Extra vitamins! The squash is undetectable. The only vegetable this hasn’t worked with so far is spinach. The taste is too strong. We also make home made macaroni and cheese with veggies mixed into the cheese sauce. We usually make a big pot on our day off and refrigerate it so when we come home from a rough day during the week, all we have to do is heat some up.

Anyway, my point is, it does take a little more effort to make a well rounded, healthy meal for your kids but it is absolutely worth it! They feel better, they sleep better, bowel movements are less terrible, they get sick less. You can never start too early when creating healthy habits for a long, healthy life.

Thanks for reading my rant.

One of those days…

Having one of those feel-completely-all-alone days.

Help

A little background:

• although he’s been separated for a long time, my fiance’s divorce was only finalized right before we got engaged.
• he has a 3yr old son and has primary custody.
• he and I have been friends for about 9 years.
• our relationship did not end his marriage. She cheated on him (not a one time thing), he found out, they were separated, then he and I realized our feelings for each other more than a year later.

• I love his son and although I would never try to replace his mother, I would do anything for this kid.

The reason this post is entitled help is because I would love any advice on how to handle my current situation. I love this family that I have been thrown into. When we are happy, we are the happiest. My step son is smart, loving, giving, cute, funny, and opinionated. But is seems like lately it is really sinking in that I am a permanent fixture in this house. And he is showing signs of jealousy. I know this is pretty standard for a step parent to experience. My reaction to this has been things like, when I see him getting jealous of my fiance giving me a long hug I will pull him in too and make it a family hug. I also make sure that the two of them have quality time alone together. Probably about an hour every day plus one bigger chunk of time once a week. I also try to make sure my alone time with him (while his dad is at work) is positive. We do crafts and go fun places together. If he glares at me or pushes me I will talk to him and say, “(glaring/hitting/whatever) is not nice. I love you. Let’s only be nice to each other.” And that seems to work but only for maybe a few hours.

I understand that he is very young and probably confused and frustrated with all the changes. I try my best to just be patient and understanding but if anyone has any helpful suggestions I would love to read them!

Weird-O

You guys, you guys, YOU GUYS. Lemme just tell you something. My step son’s mom makes him call her boyfriend Mr. Luis. WEIRD.

I would like to formally announce that I shall be changing my title from mom or my name to Her highness the grand poo-bah lord mayor. And so it shall be.

Days Off

Today will be spent playing, taking the fiancé (silly word) to get a haircut, cleaning the house and waiting for birth mom to pick up the kiddo for the night. Also hopefully looking at an affordable wedding venue later. Exciting! Haha

What would you call…

A woman who wakes up with you in the morning and puts you to bed at night? Reads your favorite stories and knows how to tuck you in just right? A woman who cooks all your meals and makes sure they are balanced and nutritious? A woman who bathes you and makes sure you have your ducky washcloth so no water gets in your eyes. She is patient, she is always ready with a hug, she teaches you something new every day.
Her love for you is unconditional. She will move mountains for you.

That woman is me, and although he may not be blood, my step son can call me whatever he wants. That includes, “Mom.”

So please continue to come around every once in a while and take him for two days and give in to his tantrums and eat out every night and bring him back unwashed. And please, continue to tell him I am not his mom and he is wrong for feeling that way. You are a terrible person.

New Parent

I am the new parent of a 3 year old. It’s been almost a year now.

A year ago I could never have imagined either of those two statements would describe me.

But I am lucky because somehow these two guys (my bf and my new son) are the family I always belonged to. I just didn’t know it.